Hello Monday :)

Command start for my car has been postponed.  I have to talk to Rory, and see if he can give me more info.

From what I understand now, there's a lot of modules which will require installation given that I have power windows, power door locks, etc.  All these modules will increase the cost of the unit, so now I'm not too sure.

I had a decent weekend at the bar, about $100 total tips, which was nice to be able to put into my bank account.

I'm getting an amazing Christmas present from my oma.  Once I get it, I'll post a picture.  I'm excited though.

Today's OK

I'm an hour away from being done my day at work.  I've gotten a bit accomplished today, tomorrow is mostly meetings, and I'm going for a massage after work.

I'm pretty sure I'll be putting my next bar paycheque towards command start for my car.  I'm tired of having to go outside in the morning twice to make sure my car is warm and ready, and I won't be letting it run for as long either with the remote start.

Less than a week from now my mom will be here for a visit.  I need to do a bit more housework to be ready for her to get here, but I'm so excited that she's coming.

So it looks like...

I won't be able to make it home in January.  From the sound of things, the office will be closed from December 24-28, meaning that I can't work all the stat days and take them later.

I'm not thrilled.  Not at all.  Still going to check with the manager though to see if something can be arranged.  I sincerely hope so.

Having a hard day

So I found out on Sunday that my Opa's youngest brother, my Oom Tinus, passed away earlier that day.  He lived in Holland, so it was evening for him when he passed.  I'd met Oom Tinus once, and really enjoyed him.  He didn't speak English well at all, but between my broken Dutch and his broken English, we understood each other well enough.  He died of a heart attack, was still involved with his family farm, and had actually just come in from the barn when he passed.  I pray he finds peace in heaven.

This has been very hard on my Opa.  Oom Tinus was the last of his brothers to pass, and now he's the only Poelman boy left.  He's also  lost some of his good friends, people that he got along with, and felt like he was similar to in various ways.  He's feeling very alone.  He hasn't had a great last few months healthwise himself either, taking a fall and breaking his wrist and damaging his hip just a few months ago.  Opa has talked for a few years about how 'this Christmas could very well be his last', and generally I tell him no way, he's gonna be around for a long time.

It feels different this year.  I feel as though I actually have to try and prepare myself for the possibility that it might really be his last Christmas.  I also have to come to terms with the fact that I've decided not to travel home for Christmas this year, due to it being difficult to get time off, and the fact that I'm in debt and can't afford to go, especially given that I've waited to book a flight, and the prices are too high at this point in time.  I'm hoping I can go in January, but I'm terrified that it might be too late.

I don't like to think about life without him here.  I gripe occasionally about the phone calls, as he does call me a lot, and often on weekend mornings before I'm actually ready to get up, he doesn't often have much to say, but just wants to talk.  I don't want to think about a day though, when those phone calls aren't there anymore, when I'm not being woken up on Saturday morning and told it's way to late to be lying in bed.

I don't even know why I decided it was so important for me to stay in Alberta this Christmas.  I guess it was some kind of push for independance.  I like being an adult, and being able to make my own choices, and live my own life.  At the same time, I feel as though there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be back in the arms of a loving family, a family that's supported me through some pretty dark times.

I've thought a lot lately about moving back to the Island, or even to the Vancouver area.  It definitely holds a lot of appeal.  A move like that would be entirely dependent on finding a job out there.  I don't want to leave the company I'm with, so a transfer would be necessary.  The transfer would be to Nanaimo or Richmond.  I'm keeping my eye open for postings, and hoping for the best.

I feel like I had so much going for me out here for a while, but it's lost it's appeal.  Family is where it's at, and I've pushed them away for so long.  I don't see a move happening right away, but it's on the horizon.  It feels good for me to acknowledge where my home is, and to want to go back.

Naked Snuggles on a Bearskin Rug under a Warm Wool Blanket in front of a Crackling Fire

Would be nice, right about now.

Also would be much warmer than where I'm currently sitting.

Monday Morning

This morning came way too early.  All week I'll be starting work at 6:00 am.  Both the driver supervisor and driver trainer are in Montreal for training (when is it going to be my turn to go to Montreal?), so I'm chairing the driver's safety meetings.

That means getting up at 5:00, showering, bundling up, going outside to start my car, getting dressed in work clothes, makeup, make lunch, and then head out the door at 5:45 am.  I do this all week.

Then on Friday, I work 6:00 am - 3:00 pm at the office, and 6:00 pm - 3:00 am at the bar.  Wish me luck, that day's going to be a killer.

I need a nap just thinking about it.

Three Thoughts

1. My interpretation of a good friend is someone who wants you in their life as much as you want them in yours.  If one of you feels differently, the friendship won't work.  That said, I've probably lost a friend.

2. It's really freaking cold out.  I'd like to purchase a GOOD pair of winter boots, the wannabe Uggs aren't cutting it in this weather.

3. Next week is going to suck.  I'm working 6am shifts all week.  Wish me luck.

I thought I'd try another ramble.

I haven't written for a while again.  Some stuff's gone down in my personal life, and I just haven't felt much drive to continue to write.

I'm back though, and going to give you a bit of a recap.

I started a new job on October 16th.  I'm working coatcheck, and occasionally (like one in six shifts) beertub at a bar.  So far it's been good, and has let me put some money where it needs to go.  It's not the most enjoyable job ever, but the people are great, and I can see myself being there for a while.

Just has essentially cut me out of her life.  I made a mistake that upset her.  I personally feel like she's overreacting, but it doesn't seem like I'm going to change her reaction. Things just feel distant and weird between us, and I'm beginning to wonder if working to maintain the friendship is worth my time.  It's not that I don't care, or that I didn't enjoy having her as a friend, but at the same time, the friendship was a lot of work and stress for me.  I worry most about how her young daughter is going to be affected by all that's gone on, and how her mother is handling (or failing to handle) any aspect of her life.

It's really hard for me to sit and listen and hear her talk about how unfair her husband is being, when I see his reaction as completely reasonable.  It's hard for me to hear her talk about what she's 'entitled' to when given what she's done, she's honestly entitled to support for her daughter, but not herself.  She says again and again that she knows she doesn't deserve anything, but the fact of the matter is she still feels entitled, and unjustifiably so.

I don't know how to be supportive and a good friend when I'm so fundamentally opposed to the actions she's taken and continues to take.  I guess I'll just wait and see where things go.

My younger brother was here for the last week.  He was laid off from his job at the autobody shop, and needed to find some good paying work quickly.  He came out here to look for a rig job, and thankfully it only took him a week to find something.  He left Edmonton at noon yesterday and went to a short job in Strathmore.  It was fun having him around.  He's way lower maintenance than my older brother, but we did a lot too.  Checked out Telus World of Science, went climbing, did some driving around, grocery shopping, WEM, and also hung out at home. He's easy to get along with, and I'm glad I got to see him here.

Just a ramble.

So, I've decided that I'm going to write for the next bit.  Maybe 40 minutes or so.  I haven't tried this type of exercise in a long time, but think it might be valuable.  I have no plan as to what to write about, I'll just take it as it comes, kind of like this whole exercise of blogging.

I'm also bbm'ing with my friend Just right now.  She's going through some challenges, struggling at times.  She's an incredible woman though, and will come through her struggles a stronger, better person.  I'm sure of it.  A lot of me goes into being an emotional support for her right now.  She's been an incredible friend to me since we met, and I just want to see her happy again.  It'll happen, it's just going to take time.

I'm supposed to start curling again soon.  I'm not exactly sure when it starts, but to be honest I'm not sure it's something that I want to do.  The knock on my head scared me.  Ice is hard, and it hurts.  My balance isn't as good as that of most people, and I don't want to make my head damage any worse by bouncing my head off the ice needlessly.  Maybe I should play a safer sport like volleyball this winter.

I feel bad thinking of quitting though.  I've made a commitment to participate, and said I'd put in the necessary effort to improve my game.  I just don't see me making any improvement if I'm scared to play.

I wish I was the kind of person who didn't question my friendships constantly.  There's people in my life that I fully enjoy having in my life, but at the same time, I question whether they add value to my life.  Is it selfish of me to look for value in my friendships? Does that make me a bad person?

I'd like to think that who my friends are is a reflection of who I am.  My friends are all very different though, so I don't know what it says about me.

So many different thoughts.  I think this blog is going to come across as an odd jumble that won't make sense.

I'm still trying to lose weight, but not trying very hard.  I've definitely slowed down on working to achieve my goals.  I don't think it helps me to hear that I'm looking good, because it takes away from my drive to look good.  This might not make sense, but I feel like I'm 'good enough' right now, so I don't push hard.

I need to keep reminding myself where I am, and be glad that I've managed to lose 25 lbs, but keep reminding myself that the next 20 is going to be super hard to get rid of... and that even once I've lost it, I'll need to stay super healthy to keep it off.  I foresee a lifetime of weight struggles for myself.  I think it's part of how I was raised, and it's sad.  My mom's tried multiple diets when I was growing up, with successes and failures.  Weight has almost always been a concern of mine.  Especially now that I'm weighing more than I want to.  I've always compared weight though.  In grade 9 I was comparing my weight to other girls of my height on the ski trip sign up sheets.  It was devastating then to be 140 lbs, when the next heaviest girl of my height who didn't look 'fat' was 135.  I never spoke of these feelings, and try to repress them a lot.  In a large way, my self worth depends on me being thin, and pretty. 

There are a few things about my roommate that are frustrating to me.  For the most part he's good, so these really are just minor complaints.  He spends money on things 'for the condo' without checking with me first.  We've got some pheremone thing now for the cats.  It's supposed to make them calm and like each other.  I had to pay $15 for that.  Frank the Tank is getting fixed on Tuesday, I'm hoping that calms him down, not some smelly thing that you plug into the wall.  He also doesn't ever clean the bathroom or kitchen.  He tidies his dishes, and wipes the counter, but never cleans the floor.  I barely cook at home (this is changing), so the mess on the floor, drops and drips of stuff isn't my doing.  He doesn't clean it up though, so I wind up washing floors.  Yay.  He can also be a bit whiny about the whole flea situation.  I get it.  My cat is the reason we're dealing with fleas.  However, I'm more than willing to vacuum when it's my turn, I've paid for the flea treatment (except a dud of a flea collar he felt the need to buy), and I'm paying to get the carpets steamed.  Flea treatment takes time.  There's no overnight quick fix.  Other than that, I absolutely love sharing my house with him.  He's mostly tidy, polite and friendly.  I'm very happy with the situation.

I feel like I'm waiting for something in my life.  I'm getting impatient.  I've felt for a while that I'm waiting for my 'real life' to happen.  This is a mindset I'd like to change.  I'm living my 'real life' right now, and I need to make the best of it.  It's easy to say 'when this happens I'll be happy', but it isn't true.  I need to look at my situation now, and find joy and happiness in the life I'm living, rather than waiting for things to change.  I'm living a good life.  Not many people my age live the successes I have.  I need to be grateful for what I've been blessed with.  It's a good goal for me to try and live by.  I'm going to give it a shot.

blah blah blah, shit happened

So I suck at blogging lately, and really just forget to write anything.

Lets see... I've discussed the curling concussion, but not the fact that we were supposed to be put up against an 'equal calibre' team the following week for playoffs (yes a 1 night playoffs).  The team we met showed up with matching jackets.. and skills.  We conceded defeat by the 5th end.

My brother visited for a few days.  Well, he stayed in Leduc, but came over every evening.  Well, I actually drove to Leduc to pick him up, and brought him back... but whatever.  He visited.

Frank the Tank ran away.  He came back before the next morning, but it was still worrisome at the time, as we couldn't find him anywhere.  I think he wanted one more romp before I take him in to get his balls cut off.

I had a road trip for work, all by myself.  I spent 4 days in Medicine Hat.  It was a good trip.  I learned a fair bit, and now definitely feel comfortable about going other places.  Submitted my expenses, so that needs to go on the credit card as soon as I get the expense cheque.

I also participated in the CIBC Run for the Cure.  I ran the 5km in 36 minutes, which isn't a great time.  I would have liked to be able to do it in 30 minutes, and realistically thought 35 should have been doable.  It's a learning experience for me though, and I'll get faster with time and training.

I think that's about it.  I'm cooking a turkey on the weekend for Thanksgiving.  I've got some friends coming over, so I'll try and put together a feast. YUM YUM.

Slipped on the ice

- massive goose egg on my head
- black bruise on my bum
- bruised elbow
- concussion

Yay curling.  Helmet from here on out?

Ugh

I hate my stomach sometimes.  That is all.

Haven't posted for a while.

Some stuff happened:
- I cut and bleached my hair

- I got a Coach purse

- Small cat singed his whiskers

- I had some friends over for a bbq
- I curled some more
- I gave Frank another bath
- I made a 3 minute microwave chocolate cake, and ate it for dinner with wine

So that's what's been happening.

I was right.

Its strep.
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Sick

I think I'm getting sick.  Not fun.  Feels like strep throat.  I have to curl tonight, so I can't go to a medicentre.  I might go at lunch.  This blows.  I hurt everywhere.

Dubstep

So my plan for last night, given that curling went fairly late on Wednesday night, and I'd been a little tired all day was to take Frank the Tank to the vet for his 2nd round of shots, and ask her about flea treatment (which I did, we have a new treatment for the cats now, and fingers crossed it'll work), and then bleach and tone my hair again, and then relax at home.

This didn't happen.  The vet part did.  The hair part did.  The relax part did not.  Just called me when I was on my way home from the vet.  She wanted to go to a show, a dubstep show.  I've only heard of dubstep, but never actually heard it.  She really wanted to go, as she was interested, and offered to pay for the ticket, so I agreed to go.

Went home, bleached and toned hair, Just arrived, we got ready, and headed out there.  The show was in the Empire Ballroom at WEM.  First thought upon entering... 'this is loud'.  Second thought... 'these floors are sticky and it's gross'.  Then I started listening.  Dubstep is all about the bass.  The headliner was a guy from England who performs as Flux Pavillion.  I'll find a video and add it to this post when I get a chance.

HOLY SHIT.  I don't think I'll be listening to dubstep at home, or in my car, but if I ever get asked to go to a show again, I'll definitely be attending.  I can't remember ever having so much fun skanking (dancing).

This morning I am tired.  My ears are still ringing, and I'm a teensy bit hungover.  I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Curling

So I was supposed to be joining a curling league for the beginning of October, playing Sunday nights.  Yesterday I got a call asking "what are you doing Wednesday nights?".  My answer was that I haven't been doing anything Wednesday nights, so now I curl on Wednesday nights, starting last night.

I haven't touched a rock since I was in grade 9.  I was curling at the Saville, where Canada's national curling teams train.  Apparently last week Randy Ferbie was curling in my league.  WTF?!?  I'm brand new at this... I'm nowhere near being in the same league as Ferbie.

That said, the night did go alright.  I only fell once, while sweeping, and even got a few of my rocks to stay in the house (I was lead).  I'm looking forward to learning this game.

It's been a while

I've decided a second job would be a good thing.  Ideally I'll be waitressing/bartending soon.  I know I don't have experience though, so I'm willing to work my way up.  Going to hand out some resumes after work today and hope for the best.

I need to save some money, would like to see debts go away right quick, and feel more in control of my life.  Fingers crossed.

Flea Bath

I gave Frank a flea bath last night.  As well as cleaning, vacuuming, and spraying the carpets in my room.  I only had one scratch post bath, and pulled quite a few fleas off of him.  After batting practice tonight I plan on vacuuming the living areas, and combing him again.  Yay fleas.

mumble grumble

So Frank the Tank still has fleas, or got them again, I don't know.  This means that Mittens, Paul's cat also now has fleas.  Flea treating isn't cheap.  So far we've spent at least $100 in flea treatments (thankfully Paul is helping out).  Carpet spray, pet spray, furniture spray, and spot treatments, all to get rid of these tiny pests.

This also means cleaning has to hit a peak the the condo in order to keep the fleas gone.  Paul vacuumed and sprayed the living areas and his room last night. I started cleaning my room last night, but the mess was too great, and I didn't manage to clean it all, so I'll be finishing that tonight, and spraying the room, as well as washing all the clothes and bedding that Frank may have touched.  On top of that, I'll be vacuuming the rest of the house, in order to make sure that we've sucked up all the fleas and flea eggs/larvae that are still alive.

I feel like a douchebag given that my kitten is the reason there's fleas in the house.  Paul's cat has never had fleas before, and now she (and he) have to deal with them.  I thought I'd rid Frank of his flea situation, but apparently not.  So tonight I clean, do laundry, and attempt to fit a workout in there as well.  Yay.

Wednesday morning catchup

It's been a while since I've let you in on what's going on in my life.  Friday night I was offered AMAZING football tickets, but sadly had to decline because there was 4 of them and I couldn't even find one friend who wasn't already busy to go with me.  Instead I went to batting practice, and got eaten alive by mosquitos, despite being covered in bug spray.

Saturday and Sunday I played in a ball tournament.  Remember a while back, how I said I was planning on avoiding ESSC events?  Well, I went to another ESSC softball tournament.  This one was closer to home, so I could sneak off to my condo between games, and didnt' have to socialize with a team  that I don't know.  The tournament was just as poorly run as the last, with teams that registered in the wrong division being able to win that div, rather than being pushed up to a higher division based on their record.  That's the team that beat us. There's no way that team was a Rec Plus team.  They were definitely Intermediate, and might have even been able to win the Intermediate Division.

Sunday after this team knocked us out of playoffs, I went and got my fingers and toes done.  I don't go often, but every once in a while it's super nice to sit and relax while someone else takes the time to make my feet pretty.

Monday and Tuesday involved a course on managing WCB claims.  It was a really good course, I have a good concept of how things work at WCB, and how I can assist injured workers at my company in handling their claims.

Back in the office today... I'd rather be back in bed.

Ohh Friday

So I slept in this morning.  Woke up at 7:40 am, have to be at work at 8:00 am.  No biggie, it's Friday.

Braided out my bangs (since they look super greasy otherwise), brushed teeth, washed face, applied makeup, deoderant, clothes on, and headed out the door.  I even had time to locate my kitten in my messy room, and get him out of there for the day.

I feel odd now though.  I love my morning routine, even if it is rushed most days. I generally stumble out of bed at 7:00 am, and straight into the shower.  I'm standing under the hot spray for at least 15 minutes, cracking joints that need cracking, and scrubbing, shaving, and shampooing.

Following my shower I head to my room, dry and straighten my hair, throw on some makeup and get dressed.

I'd love to be one of those people who gets up early without fail, and has time to be organized, pack a lunch, eat a wholesome breakfast and all that jazz, but I'm not.  I rush my mornings, and enjoy the last bit of sleep I can grab before facing the day.

mark. cosmetics.... errrr AVON

So I'm considering becoming an Avon consultant.  Mostly because I'm interested in checking out mark cosmetics and selling them, moreso than the actual Avon products.

I'm pretty sure it won't be a big moneymaker for me, but might add a small contribution to my monthly budget (and if I can focus my Avon earnings on paying some stuff off instead of spending it, it could make a big difference).

I meet the Avon Rep on Tuesday evening, and if I decide to become a rep myself, it will only cost me $20, which really isn't bad at all.

Ummm...

Why doesn't Darren Dutchyshen get his teeth fixed?
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Delayed

Now that I've bought myself new gear, I get to sit and wait.  Apparently the diamonds that we play at are closed for at least the next three weeks, so we aren't able to play any ball.  They're doing some road construction in the area, and I think that's why we can't play.  Now, I totally understand the need to build new roads, and do so while the weather allows for it, but the league rents the fields from the city, wouldn't it be prudent for the city to provide us with alternative fields if they're choosing to close the ones we're using?

At least this will give me some time to break my glove in at home.

New Gear

Easton Phenom (Pink) Ball Bag Reg 29.99, my price 26.99
Worth Lithium EST Bat Reg 99.99, my price 89.99
Mizuno Finch Mid 9 Spike Cleats Reg 99.99, my price 44.99
Rawlings Gold Glove 12" Reg 109.99, my price 98.99

Take off another $25 because I'm on thier mailing list and haven't used my welcome discount yet, my total sits at 299.01 with taxes.

WOW!!  Thanks to entering this on my blog, I just did the math.  Instead of giving me a $25 credit for the locker room mailing list discount, they added it to the total.  Good thing I'm headed back there after work to pick up my glove, I'll need to get that fixed.

Total should be $247 and change.

A sour taste in my mouth.

I left the Edson slo-pitch tournament on Monday afternoon with a sour taste in my mouth, and it had nothing to do with being terribly hungover.

The tournament itself was a success, we won a bit of money ($100) as a team, I'm playing in the All Ladies in September in Drayton Valley, I hit pretty well all weekend, and had an all around good time.

The sour taste entered my mouth Monday morning though.  I woke up, and noticed that I'd puked during the night (yes I drank too much, way too much).  Thankfully it wasn't a huge messy puke, and would only require throwing the sheets in the wash when I got home later in the day.  Not a big deal.

I headed off to the showers, and managed to be the last person in the showers before they shut them down.  I was pretty happy about this, and glad to feel clean, and refreshed.  I was feeling a little off from the previous night's festivities, but definitely not anywhere near the top ten hangovers of my life, which was a good thing.

I got back to the camp, and went to get ready for our ball game that morning.  I couldn't find my ball bag anywhere.  It had been tucked away the night before, not locked up, but not sitting in plain sight either. All my ball gear was missing.  An online product search this morning found that if I were to replace every piece of equipment I had in the bag (cleats, gloves (2), bats (2), and the bag itself) I would be looking at a total of $909.94.  I definitely can't afford that right now.  If possible I'd like to purchase 1 glove, 1 bat, cleats and a bag, and the replacement cost for quality items would run me just over $500.  I've purchased all my equipment since moving to Edmonton at United Cycle, so my plan is to head over there during the noon hour and explain what happened to all my equipment and see if I can negotiate some kind of discount.  I have a $25 off coupon, but would like to see if they can drop the prices even lower.  I'm hoping that my circumstances, inability to afford to pay full price, and the fact that I've shopped there exclusively for my ball gear helps convince them that I deserve a deal.  I'll keep you posted, my one reader.

Rides, food on sticks, deep fried oreos, lemonade and cotton candy.

So yesterday I took Frank the Tank to the vet for his first shots.  He's currently 13 weeks old, and 4.4 lbs.  He took his shots like a champ, and also had a de-worming pill.  In a month I have to take him back for his second round of shots.

After I dropped Frank off at home, I drove over to Just's mom's house, where she was ready to go, and picked her up.  We spent a stormy evening at Capital Ex, riding scary rides, eating foods we shouldn't have eaten, meeting up with her recruiter, and wandering around people-watching.

It was a really pleasant evening, its been a while since I've had an evening that's just relaxed and fun like last night was.  I'm feeling the sugar hangover this morning.... all that cotton candy wasn't the smartest idea, but delicious anyways, and it's not like I eat chicken on a stick at any other time of the year.

Yikes!

Probably much TMI, but I'm stuck in traffic, and have an urgent poo. Sometimes I hate the LRT expansion (sorry Andraea).
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Testing

I'm just trying out the email posting. I might post more random stuff if I'm able to post this way.

A random item would be that Little Dave liked the Vietnamese food so much that he said, "maybe I should marry a Vietnamese girl and an Asian". Wtf Dave, wtf.
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Mmmmmm Vietnamese

So Little Dave (cause we have two Dave's at work, who coincidentally are both super skinny, so neither is really big, but one is younger than the other) comes into my office and asks me if I'd like anything from Tim Hortons, as he didn't bring lunch and is walking there (Little Dave doesn't drive).  I really don't enjoy Tim Hortons lunch, but didn't bring a lunch either, so I offered to drive elsewhere and Little Dave could come along.

He had no idea where he wanted to go, so I suggested one of my favorite places, Noodle Extreme, in Millwoods.  Millwoods is a bit of a drive from the office, so we'd be pressed for time, but well worth the hustle to get there and back.  I had forgotten how absolutely amazing their vermacelli is.  Part of me thinks maybe I should have gotten the Lemongrass Chicken, for old times sake, but I didn't.

Now I'm back at work, and my belly is full and my mind wants to sleep.  Back at it though, lots to do.

3 Month Review

Oh ya!  On a super positive note, I had my 3 month review with my manager yesterday morning.  They're very happy that they brought me on, and are pleased with the work I'm doing and how quickly I'm catching on.  So ya, that's a definite plus.

Updates

I didn't play ball for Manley's team last Thursday, the game was postponed, so they didn't need me.  Ergo, I didn't get the bed moved out of the condo.  I need to find someone to take it this week, as Paul is moving in on the weekend.  Just is supposed to take it at her house, but has made no effort to come get it, and I can't transport it in my car.  I'm thinking I'll just haul it up to the storage room, and she can let me know when she wants it.

My ankle is a bit of a disaster.  I played in a couple bar league slo pitch games on Sunday, and over the course of two games managed to get hit in the lower leg by batted balls three times.  Twice on the low shin (in exactly the same spot), and once right on the inside of my ankle, directly on the joint.  It's colorful, and swollen, but isn't restricted in movement, just a little painful.  When the bruising goes away it should feel just fine.

Things to do this week include getting the bed out of the living room, moving my couch in to the bedroom, vacuuming Paul's room before he gets here, grocery and liquor shopping for Edson, taking Frank to the vet for his first shots, on more ball game tomorrow night, and pack my car to drive out to Edson.  I'd also really like to clean out my car, as it's currently a disaster, and I'm more than a little ashamed of the mess. Aaagh, I also have to go to registries and pay for two speeding tickets as well as re-register my car... not gonna be cheap.

The good news is that my boss agreed to let me leave at noon on Friday, so I'll have a bit of time to get stuff together before leaving town (my first game is at 8pm), but I still don't want to leave all my packing and organazing till the last minute.  I'm a chronic last minuter and don't want to be that way anymore.

My plan is as follows:

Tuesday:

Costco with Just and her toddler (groceries for Edson)

Car wash at lunch

Load camping basics into car when home from Costco

Wednesday:

Registries at lunch

Move bed upstairs to storage room after work

Softball game

Thursday:

Liquor Store (buy enough beer for weekend, as beer gardens are expensive)

Pack clothes for weekend, including bright and tight for 80's night and load into the car

Freeze jugs of water to keep in my food cooler

Friday:

Get gas

Load coolers and pack into car

Drive to Edson

Ball game

Look like a ton of fun?  I think so.  At some point I should also pick up a new litterbox for Frank the Tank. He's a bit enthusiastic when digging poop holes, so something with higher sides would be ideal.

New New Roommate

So I've got a new roommate lined up again.  P seems much better than the last one.  He's got a full time job, has a girlfriend, and seems pretty normal.  This weekend I'll be getting the room cleaned out so that he can move in.  He'd like to come paint on Sunday.

I need to ditch a mattress.  It's the mattress that I've had since I was a child, so it's definitely ready to hit the dump.  Good thing Manley asked me to play ball for his team tonight, and I agreed on the condition that he uses his truck to move this mattress.

I really hate waiting.

I spent 4 hours last night at a medicentre. I got there right after work, so just after 5 pm, and didn't leave till after 9. 

I knew exactly why I was there, but describing would definitely be TMI.  Lets just say I know I needed antibiotics for a non contagious, yet still irritating issue.  I was right on my self diagnosis, and the Dr prescribed exactly what I thought he would.  I'll  be on antibiotics for the next 7 days, and because of the particular drug I'm on, drinking is a definite no-no.  This makes me very glad that Edson is over a week away, as I'll be off meds by then.

I don't understand why people bring their whole family to the medicentre with them.  I went by myself, taking up one chair in the waiting room, and being only one impatient individual.  Some of the patients there had themselves, their husbands, mothers, grandmothers and children with them. Granted, I don't know exactly who the sick member of the family was, but really, a medicentre trip doesn't need to involve that many bodies.

Anyways, I was up at 7 yesterday morning for work, and didn't make it home again till almost 11, as the pharmacy took their sweet time too.  Long day, and I was tired.  I'm feeling it today for sure.

I have a thought....

I'm thinking about grace.  When Paul wrote in Romans 6:1, "What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase?", he asks a very valid question.  But can you imagine, if our continued sinning could be so awful that it would overshadow the greatest sin of all, a sin that we have been forgiven of?

We murdered Jesus.  I don't think there's anything that anyone can do that is worse than killing the Son of God.  In fact, I know there's no greater sin.  Yet, it's a sin we are all guilty of.  We share the guilt for the most awful act of all times.  There have been some awful acts in history, true, but as far as I can see, nothing even comes close to killing Jesus.  Yet we're forgiven.  God forgives us for killing his Son.  Jesus forgives us for sacrificing him.

We sin every day.  The more rules we set out for ourselves, the more we break them.  Wouldn't it be easier to forget rules, but to live in God's grace, and to love and serve Him.  Serving Him is an act of gratitude, not obedience.  We live in His grace because He offers it to us.  We strive to do His will, because when we die to sin we become like Him, and His will becomes ours.

Flea bath, shots booked, and Edson coming up!

So Frank the Tank has been battling the fleas.  And by that I mean that I've been battling fleas, and Frank has been scratching his bites.  This should all change for him soon.  Last night involved an adventure.  We went to the groomer's and got Frank a flea bath.  He still hates baths, but the groomer was incredibly gentle with him, and at one point during the rinsing process he wasn't even flailing.  Poor guy.  She also had to shampoo his face with the flea shampoo because of just how infested he was.  I'm pretty sure we've got them all now, and still plan on treating him in a couple weeks to make sure we've got them for good.

He's also booked for shots next week at a vet clinic down in Devon.  It's a bit of a drive, but this vet came on the recommendation of the groomer, and apparently the prices are less than most city vets. Shots shouldn't be as difficult an experience for him, he just doesn't like water.

Completely unrelated, August long weekend will see me playing at one of the biggest slo pitch tournaments ever, out in Edson.  There will be 272 teams playing, which is insane!  I'm looking forward to a weekend of slo pitch, drinking and camping.  It looks to be a great time.

Stresssssss

I'm stressed.  I really don't want to get into it on here, but it has to do with a relationship that's extremely important to me.  Contact with this person may be cut off, and it's not what I want, or what they want.

I don't know what's going on, and at this point I can't ask.

Drinking pricey and delicious ice wine with Just last night definitely helped matters then, but I really need to know what's going on, and I don't, and I can't know yet.

Bathing a kitten sucks.

Frank won.  He got tossed in the sink a couple times, but managed to concede to a modified sponge bath. He still has fleas, and is getting the drops tonight.

I'll beat these fleas yet.

Also, he hates me.

Ohhh Kitty!

Frank the Tank is now living in his new home.  Yesterday was a tough day for the little guy, and today won't be any better once I'm done with him. It's all necessary though.

I'm lucky enough to have a kitty who gets motion sickness.  On the 40 minute drive from my brother's place to the campsite, Frank got sick in the car.  He was shaking and so scared when he got to the campsite, but still let me cuddle and pet him, and still let some cousin's kids pet him as well.  This bodes well, as it looks like he'll be a good natured cat.  Thankfully the same cousin whose kids were playing with Frank had liquid gravol for her kids, and we were able to give a little bit to Frank, so the rest of the trip wouldn't be so hard on him.

The gravol seemed to work almost immediately, and his eyelids got a little bit heavy.  The truck ride from the campsite to the airport went better, but he still had a few spazzouts.  Mostly when dad turned the radio on, and it got too loud for his big ears. He seemed pretty calm when we were hanging out in the airport, and fell asleep almost immediately when the motion stopped.

Boarding the plane was another freakout (I think because of how loud it was), but once he was tucked under the seat with a towel over his carrier to make it nice and dark for him, he did really well.  I didn't hear a peep from him till we'd landed back home, and I was walking off the plane with him.

Pretty much as soon as we got home he curled up in sleepy ball on the couch.  I did get him to eat some supper though, and when I woke up this morning he was about halfway through his bowl of kibble, and ate all the wet food I put out for him.  He also drank about half the water from his dish, which is a relief, cause he was probably pretty dehydrated by the end of yesterday.

Tonight's gonna be another test of his ability to stay calm.  I need to give him a bath.  He's stinky because he got sick and laid in it in his carrier, and he's also got fleas.  He was treated for fleas about two weeks ago, so I can't just give him flea treatment again, I've got to try pick the fleas out with a flea comb, and then scrub him clean in the sink.  I might look like I fought a battle tomorrow.  It'll be worth it though to have a clean kitty who isn't itchy.

Leaving on a jet plane....

I'll be back in a few days though.  I'm headed out to Parksville, BC for a family reunion.  My family is generally a lot of fun, so it should be a good time.

My bags are packed, and my room is clean.  My former roommate, Andraea and her boyfriend will be staying at my place, as I'm not entirely comfortable leaving my current/soon to be ex roomate at home alone for the weeekend.  I doubt he'd try anything, but I can't be sure and would rather not find out.

Also, on Sunday I get to pick up Frank.  Yay kitty!

Will post pictures when I have them.

WHOOO HOOOOO!!

So, this whole roommate ordeal has had me a bit on edge.  I really wanted to get rid of him, yet was concerned about the fact that he seems to be very litigious in nature, and would likely attempt to pursue legal action if I wasn't careful about things.

This troubled me greatly, and I thought I would be stuck with him. (Also, who rents videos on demand using someone else's cable account and doesn't say anything?).

Anyways, imagine my great joy when he provides me with 1/2 of July's rent, on the 3rd.  Not rent in full on the first.  I told him, very bluntly, that half rent was not acceptable, and he'd have to pay the whole amount.  He got this deer in the headlights look.  I liked that look.  I continued by informing him that if he couldn't afford the full month, he did have an option, he could be out by the 15th. He then told me that this was the option he was going to have to take.

Then he asked if we could compromise, and I told him,
"I could compromise, but I don't want to.  I don't like you, I don't like you in my house.  I feel uncomfortable in my own home having you here, and I really just want you gone, this non-payment is perfect, and it really actually makes me happy."

Jen wins.

Also WHOOO HOOOOO!! worthy is the fact that since May I am down 20 lbs and 6 inches total.  I rock, even if I'm not giving this fitness thing my all.  I just got an ipod touch, and one of the first apps I purchased was Couch to 5K, which is designed to get you running 5k without a break in 9 weeks.  Once I get back from vacation (or maybe during vacation) I'll start this.  The link is Couch to 5K, for anyone interested.  I'll keep you, my 0 readers posted on how it goes :)

Happy Belated Canada Day!

I was a bit busy yesterday, and didn't have time to update.  Yesterday was Canada Day, 143 years since Confederation.

Generally Canada Day is a statutory holiday, so most people had the day off to enjoy festivities with their families and friends.  Given that it was month end though, and the company I work for is French, I worked most of the day.  Management at my office isn't uncaring though, and were nice enough to have a bbq for us at noon.  They also let us leave in the afternoon, when we'd completed month end tasks.

Following work I picked up some new shorts (yay! denim shorts that fit well), and went home for a bit.  The evening consisted of dinner at Sorrentino's, which was delicious, and then we parked just off Whyte Ave, walked across the river and went to Telus Field, where we watched the Edmonton Capitals beat the Calgary Vipers in extra innings, and then stayed at the park for the Canada Day fireworks.  The fireworks were splendid. Following this we hoped to be able to catch a cab back to Whyte Ave, and the car..... but the roads were closed for the fireworks, so we wound up walking back.  It really wasn't a bad night for a walk, and it felt good after a filling dinner, popcorn, beer and a hot chocolate.  We stopped at a VERY packed Hudson's on Whyte for one more drink, and then called it a night, 6:30am comes early, and I'm back at work now.

Chiropractic Musings

So, a little while ago (read, as soon as I got benefits again), I started seeing a new chiropractor.  He's supposed to be a bit of a hot shot at what he does, I'm still on the fence.

I paid $90 for my first visit.  Ok, I understand, it's a consultation, and there's things he needs to do.  Really, the whole electrogram and heat sensing thing took all of 20 minutes, and the chiro did only the electro part himself.  I'm sure the computer program he's using cost a pretty penny, but honestly doesn't make me feel like I was getting better treatment for him having done the readings.  The areas of concern on the readings were and are the same areas where I feel pain.... coincidence? I think not.

Since that first visit I've been in 12 times.  He wanted me to come 3x/week for 6 weeks, at $39/visit.  That's all fine and well, but not everyone makes chiropractor's wages, and even though I have coverage for this.... it adds up pretty quickly, and I'm pretty sure that by the end of the year I'll be paying out of pocket.  Thanks Alberta Medical.  You rock... or not.

Anyways, today's plan is to have me come in for another scan and then an adjustment.  That means today's visit is another $90, and then back on Friday for another $39 visit.  My chiropractor makes my wallet hurt, and really hasn't helped my back noticibly.  I'm witholding judgement until this scan comes back, and if it isn't any better.... I'll be looking for a new chiropractor.

Busy weekend and roommate drama

This weekend was a little nutty.  Got off work at 5pm Friday, home by 5:30, and started crimping my hair.  That's right, crimping.  Friday night was Katy's stagette, and we went to 80's night at Vinyl.  It was good times, not so much fun when the majority of our group left for the country bar next door and a few of us were left to finish the bottle service worth of sweet mix and parrot bay rum.... yuck, but we toughed it out like champs.  Then on to the country bar. 

The country bar was typical country bar, with the exception of a military fellow who happened to be there with our bride to be's fiance.  Now, you might be asking what this fiance was doing at the bar right next door to the bar where he KNEW his soon to be bride was celebrating with friends.  It's a good question, but they're just THAT couple.  Back to this military fellow, he seemed pretty nice, we got along as well as two people pretty loaded, and just out for a good night could, danced together a bunch, he was pushing for more, I wasn't conceding.... which as it turns out was a very good call on my part.  This seemingly innocuous fellow, who paid me compliment after compliment is apparently quite the manslut, and married to boot.  He and I wound up in the same cab following the bar, with others, at which point I let him know that how he was acting wasn't the way a married man should act, and that he needed to get his shit in order.

Finally home, at about 3am, I washed my face, got out of the neons, and crawled into bed, remembering to set my alarm for 7:30.  7:30 came way too early, accompanied by a pounding headache and a stomach that threatened to open the floodgates everytime I moved.  Sound fun? Well, not so much, but I pulled on shorts and a t-shirt, and a jacket, and headed out into the rain to play some ball.  I'm not going to lie, it hurt.  The good thing about softball is that playing hungover is nothing new, and I wasn't the only one there who was hurting.  It took until our third game of the day for me to feel even remotely human, and even so, following that game I showered, hit my couch, and promptly fell asleep.

Sunday was a much better feeling day for ball, and I arrived at the fields at the also much more reasonable hour of 10:00 am.  The other team wasn't there, and we sat waiting for them.  Apparently they have a hotmail account, and as such the email with the Sunday (playoff) game times went into their junk email folder.  The tournament organizers from the ESSC made, what in my opinion was a poor judgement call, and allowed them an hour to get to the fields, pushing back game times for the remainder of the day.  In any other tournament that I've played in, there's not excuse accepted for missing a game time, tournaments are scheduled to run smoothly, and if a team isn't there, they forfiet, it's pretty simple.

But at any rate, the decision was made and we waited.  One of our players decided this was unreasonable, and left, so we had to pick up another girl, who happened to not have a ton of experience.  We lost the game, a disappointing loss given that we'd sat for an hour and a half waiting for the game to happen, waiting for a team that felt entitled to special treatment to show up.  Frustrating and disappointing, but that's why I generally avoid Edmonton Sport and Social Club type events.

As far as the roommate drama goes... I just want him out.  He's thrown out my food, spends all day almost every day sitting on my couch watching war documentaries, wasn't up front about his not so distant past drug use, wasn't up front about his lack of a driver's lisence, and just irritates the shit out of me.  I've noticed him using my laptop cooling pad for the last few days.  He hasn't asked my permission to use this item, and it isn't a 'regular household appliance' for which sharing goes without saying.  I was unimpressed, and, I won't lie, I snapped.  I need to get rid of him, but don't know how.  Any suggestions.

Leaky Plumbing

Not me, but it definitely impacts my life.  There's water leaking into my condo from somewhere, I'm not sure where, and neither is the building's maintenance manager. 

I have insurance against water damage, and as long as the leak is coming from inside the wall, the condo board is responsible for paying for the damages, still though, this sucks, and I'm not sure what to do.

I really don't want to have to take an afternoon off work to go deal with plumbing.  I'm not happy, am nervous, and haven't ever had to deal with this kind of homeowner drama before.

Wish me luck.

Workout

I'm going to workout by myself tonight, no Just, no R.... just me. That means I've got to get motivated and get my ass on the treadmill.  I also need to bake a cake tonight, and decorate it to look extremely phallic.  The phallarific cake is for Just and my mutual friend K's stagette.  Since I have mad skills with icing, I thought it was the least I could do.  I will post a picture once it is complete/I have time.

My plan is to run while the cake is baking.  My oven doesn't have a timer, so I'll get ready to run, throw the cake in the oven, and then go program the minimum baking time onto the treadmill, and not stop until the time is up, at which point I can go back to my condo and the cake should be done. (In case you haven't guessed, there's a gym in my building, and it's REALLY close to my condo).

I definitely had a cheat day yesterday.  Mojitos, chicken wings, grilled chicken in seafood sauce with mashed potatoes, and a piece of chocolate.  Not a success.  I'm not going to beat myself up though for having days like that, I want to live a healthy lifestyle, not be deprived of anything delicious.  Moderation is the name of the game, and with the exception of the wings and the mojitos, I didn't finish anything I set out to eat yesterday.  I think my stomach has shrunk, which is a positive thing.  Prior to starting this healthy lifestyle journey I was the person who would ALWAYS finish what was on my plate, and my waistline was reflecting it.

Continued Workouts

So Just came over yesterday after work with her husband, and the three of us worked out.  It worked, not as well as with two though, as I didn't get the treadmill time I like to have.  I'm working on building up my cardio endurance, and prefer running to the elliptical or stairmaster.  I pushed hard again, and was still feeling it from Sunday night, when I ran for 10 minutes straight, and put a mile behind me.

I'm seeing results, last time I measured, which was Sunday night,  I was down 14 lbs, and 4 inches, 1 off my bust, 1 off my waist, and 2 off my hips.  Clothes are fitting better too, and the dreaded muffin top isn't visible anymore. YAY!!!

All that said, I'm still finding it very difficult to be motivated about going to workout on my own.  I don't enjoy it.  I am hoping that continuing to see results will allow me to be more motivated, but at the same time am frightened that I'll always need that push from Just to work out.

Updates

Underwear Affair!  I jogaloped the 5km walk, did it in about 40 minutes.  I'm not super thrilled about that time, especially given that I ran just over 2km the following evening in 10 minutes.  Such is life, and my running partner, as much as I love her, isn't ready for any kind of distance running at this point.  She's strong, flexible and thin, just doesn't have the cardiovascular endurance yet.  I say YET, because next year we'll be participating again, and spending the months from now until next June building up cardiovascular endurance so that we can RUN in the 10km event.  I think a realistic goal for us would be under 1 hr, as the fastest men and women completed the event in just over 40 minutes.  If I can run 10km in an hour, that would be a major accomplishment for me, and I'll be very proud of myself.

Pre race photos, we were a bit wetter afterwards.

Sunglasses.  I couldn't get the matte white tiger finish on the Oakley's I want, so I've opted for the 'smoke' color instead.  They're still nice, just not as flashy as I'd hoped I would be able to get.

Swimsuit!  Fits amazingly.  I love it.

What else is new? I have a ball game tonight, should be working right now, and it's beautiful sunny weather.  I'm loving life.

Fed Ex

Fed Ex has a package for me!!!!  New swimsuit! W00t w00t :)

Haha, even when I know what's in the mail, it still excites me to know that I've got something new and exciting waiting for me to unwrap.  AND... because I know what it is, it's like Christmas or a birthday without the disappointment.

Haha, so maybe I'm a cynic, but my last birthday reminded me why I really shouldn't make a big deal out of days where I'm supposed to feel special.  Cause I'm not.

27

So I suppose I'm another year older, and should be excited because it's my birthday.  Well, I'm not.  While I'm still kind of childish, and like the idea of presents, and people wishing me well, I'm getting older, and my life isn't really moving anywhere.  I always expected that by the time I was 27 I'd be married with at least a couple kids.  I'm nowhere near that.  It doesn't even come up as a blip on my horizon.

It's difficult for me.  That which I desire the most is the one thing that I seem not to be able to achieve.  I'm 27 years old.  I have a good job.  I own my own home.  I'm healthy, and not unattractive.  I'm so alone.

-10 lbs

Hooray!!! Whooo hoooo!!!

So I made a pact with myself about 2 weeks ago.  I was chosing not to drink anything other than water or black coffee, and would also eat healthier.

It's working.  In that time, I've lost 10 lbs!

I know I won't keep losing at this rate, but it feels great as a start, as did the amazing workout I had last night.  I feel good, I'm losing weight, and increasing my overall happiness.

Sunshine...

and beers!  What a good day so far.

Sure I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, and had an early start to the day, but things went well.  It started with a haircut and color at the local beauty school.  The color is great, the cut is ok, but for the price I'm a very happy customer.  Then to the optometrist to get my eyes checked.  They're a little worse than two years ago, but really not enough to get different lenses, so instead of replacing lenses in a pair of my glasses, I've opted to get a pair of prescription sunglasses.

Oakley Fives Squared in  White Tiger.  I love them.  They're a super choice for me, as they fit with my lifestyle and my personality.  They also might benefit my fielding ability on the ball field, as I currently have issues with depth perception.

Following the optometrist I drove home, found a section of lawn in the sun and stretched out to catch some rays.  A good nap in the sunshine definitely improved my disposition, as did the beer I sipped between sleepy times.  Good day all around.

Get fit... or something.

This evening will be spent underwear shopping and then exercising.  The underwear shopping is not just run of the mill, regular old panty purchasing, it's an opportunity for me to buy some fantastic skivvies for a bit of athletic exhibitionism. My good friend Just and I are participating in The Underwear Affair, a 10 km run or 5 km walk raising funds to research cancers found below the belt.  We're running the 10 km, neither of us feels entirely capable of doing so, but hopefully we can push each other and be successful.

The workout, well it's because Just is preparing to enlist in the Army Reserves, and I'm just plain out of shape, so training together is an excellent way for us to get in shape and spend time together.  Working out is so much more fun when you're with a friend.

In Bed

It's just past 1:00 PM, and I've spent the whole morning in bed.  Why? Well something I ate disagreed with me, and I've been up all night, and the early part of this morning, disagreeing back.  I didn't feel like work was a good place for me to be.

This worries me, I'm not going to lie.  I'm at a new job, working for new people, and definitely still in the 'proving myself' stages of things.  Maybe I should have sucked it up and gone in to work.  What do you think?

Whether or not you agree with my staying home, here I am.  Wide awake now, wondering if maybe I should tidy my room.  I know I should, but I also know that I've got the weekend to do so, as I'm not booked for a softball tournament for the first weekend in a while.  I don't even have a game until next Monday.... it feels odd.

I should get out of my bedroom, but in doing so I would have to face my roommate (also new), who I'm not entirely a fan of.  When I met him, and showed him the room, he alluded to some drug use in his past, and that he was well on his way to straightening out his life.  I took his word for it, as I was currently unemployed myself, and needed a roommate.  As it turns out, he's not working because he can't pass a drug test, and won't be working until mid July.  He also doesn't drive, because he's gotten himself a one-year suspension.  Needless to say, I'm not impressed.  I don't mind if my roommates are home, as it's their home too, but having someone CONSTANTLY sitting on the couch just doesn't sit well with me.

Time to brave the living room though, maybe make myself something bland to eat, and to hope for a better day tomorrow.

~Jen

Welcome :)

Welcome to my little soapbox.  I've often though about doing this, but wondered if I really have THAT much to say.  Do I need a blog to express my feelings?  Would blogging enhance my life?

I don't know the answers to these questions.  That doesn't matter.  What matters is that I'm going to start this, and see where it goes.  I'm going to look into random happenings in my life, and attempt to analyze them for some kind of meaning.  If there's no meaning, then I'll move on, but perhaps I'll find something worth hanging on to.

~Jen